#227 ‘I’m not going to throw away my hard-earned money on a child that isn’t mine’

Maud has met her brand new brother Kai: her mother has given birth. Maud’s father is also involved in the birth and has been told that his children have had a half-brother. Maud is over the moon with her brother and shows pictures to Tommy in the evening. But where Maud doubts her feelings for Tommy because of her jitters for Gio, Tommy has very different feelings when he sees those baby photos. “I’d like to ask you something. Or I want to talk to you about something…”

I feel myself getting so red that the steam is almost coming out of my ears. Oh no! Tommy isn’t going to start talking about having kids together?! I’m 23! That my mother has become a young mother is up to that point, but I really don’t see myself walking with a child at 23. go away dude! And I’m also having my doubts about my own relationship right now. Oh please don’t do this to me…

Maybe it’s because Tommy sees the panic in my eyes, or maybe he didn’t want to talk about “our” kids at all because he starts talking about his own daughter and babbling about a new nursery because she’s getting “too old” for this one and grows out of her bed. I cut him off halfway through his plea. “Yes, fine, isn’t it?” I answer. “It’s your daughter and your money, so you must know what’s good for her, and if you want a new nursery for her, that’s fine, isn’t it?”

“Well, because we live here together, I wanted to ask if you would also like to make a contribution,” Tommy replies. I look at him in astonishment. For a moment I think he’s kidding, but he seems to mean it. “Um, but… It’s your child?” I mumble in astonishment. “So yes?” Tommy shouts irritably. “I actually think we should do this together, Maud. After all, you have chosen to be in a relationship with someone with a child.”

My mouth falls open in surprise. Is he seriously asking this? The holidays are just around the corner and it’s packed with great deals. I’m not going to throw away my hard-earned money on a nursery for a child that isn’t mine?! Then I’d rather spend it on Kai! “No, sorry,” I answer firmly. “All nice and nice, but I don’t think I should pay for this.” Tommy obviously doesn’t agree with me, but seems to want to avoid a big fight. I don’t know how to act very well for a moment and start to clean up the things that are around me, get up, make tea and then sit down at the table and fiddle with my mobile a bit. All night Tommy and I don’t say anything to each other…

When I tell the story to Rochella the next day, she doesn’t really know what’s on Tommy either. “Sorry, but I barely ask Levi for help and that’s the father of my child! I just want to do it myself and would absolutely not want a possible new relationship ever to pay for the costs of my child?!” she shouts in astonishment. Tommy’s aggrieved stuff doesn’t sit well with me, though. Somehow I have the feeling that he is trying to test me, to see how loyal I am to him and his daughter. And I am starting to doubt that loyalty myself more and more…

For the thirtieth time that day I scroll to Gio’s Whatsapp. And then I decide to just do it: I invite him to have a drink together this week. What could possibly go wrong?!

Maud is a 23-year-old college student who loves to party and travel. She recently started working as an editor for a magazine and has a friend, Tommy, who she lives with on the Zuidas. You can read her adventures every week in a new episode of Maud’s Night Book.

#226 ‘So this is love!’

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#227 ‘I’m not going to throw away my hard-earned money on a child that isn’t mine’

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