Three habits to avoid when suffering from anxiety

Words from the therapy room:

“Why does it take me so long to recover?”
“I used to be happy and carefree. What if it never happens again?”
“My anxiety doesn’t go away completely. I’m not here now, but there’s always this constant fear of” What if I’m here tomorrow? “

Usually when suffering from anxiety, depression, or burnout, we cannot wait to get out of this situation, feel better, and be free from mental health concerns and challenges. It makes sense. However, there is a difference between “I can’t wait” and “press”. The second is a very common trap for many of us. We track progress, count days, compare, push, push further, push harder.

“I should have felt better now.”
“What’s wrong with me, was it bad?”
“Why do others recover faster than I do?”

But this kind of push has the opposite result: more anxiety, more disappointment, more despair. That is all the emotions we are trying to get rid of. Oops. We are stuck in a loop.

There are several myths about healing and recovery from mental health problems. For example, “Once recovered, you’ll never have a hard time” or “If it’s still triggered, it means you’re wrong.”

Three things you should avoid doing while suffering from anxiety

Instead of blindly believing in these myths about healing and recovery, there are three things to avoid when suffering from anxiety.

1. Do not compare yourself to others

It’s an unfair comparison to measure where you are now and where someone else is. Why? Because each person is different, the person you see, who looks happy and stress-free now, probably suffered from depression last year or burnout within a few months. This is not a competition, everyone experiences their own struggle (perhaps they don’t even show)-but we are all struggling at some point in our lives.

Instead: Focus on your own recovery and accept that this is where you are and you are not doing anything wrong.

2. Avoid “all or nothing” thinking

Like “I have a negative idea again. Nothing has changed. I’m going back to the square.” Or, “Once you feel better and recover, you’ll never have a hard time again.” Realistically, this isn’t possible. Our lives are full of challenges, unexpected events and pains. As you expect to be Superman / Superwoman.

Instead: Accept the fact that pain, stress and adversity are part of human life. We are constantly declining, alternating between positive and negative emotions and experiences. You need to learn the tools so that you don’t suffer from these moments.

3. Don’t wait for others to change for you to recover

In many cases, it makes sense that we are influenced by others. Do not respect our boundaries, overwhelm us, or feel even more stressed, especially when there are people in our environment that induce us. But waiting for them to change to find our inner peace and balance can be a chase of wild geese. Maybe they will never change, or maybe they will. who knows? Your recovery can’t depend on them, and you definitely don’t want to postpone your life for them.

Instead: Remove people from your life who don’t respect your boundaries. Or, at least, stop investing in those relationships to the previous extent. Learn how to set the right boundaries. Focus on self-care now and today, not “when …” or “what if …”.

Most important thing

Most importantly:

  • Be kind to yourself when you are experiencing difficult times in your life. This is the only antidote needed to recover from the mental health struggle.
  • The ability to forgive yourself, make room for your feelings, be aware of your thoughts, listen to your needs, and accept what you are.

It takes time to heal. And there’s a metaphor I use for that: if you run for a minute, you’ll need a few seconds to catch up with your breath. If you run for 30 minutes, it will probably take a few minutes. If you are running a marathon, it will take several hours to recover. If you find that recovering from a mental health problem or trauma takes longer than expected, you probably ran a “marathon.”

please take it easy.

Three habits to avoid when suffering from anxiety

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